You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize