Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
