I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
