Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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