No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
