I love black thongs
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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