you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
