That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize