dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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