Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
