if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
