I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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