I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize