Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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