I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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