you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize