Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
