Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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