I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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