pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
