I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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