just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
