I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
