I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i now understand why vodka
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
