Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
