You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
