your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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