So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Your cock deserves a montage
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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