hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
