I bet he comes in French.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize