I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
