Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
