i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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