Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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