It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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