im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize