just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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