first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You need Xanax blowdarts
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
