remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
