Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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