So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
