thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
