You're my little dorito
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
