its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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