dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
