We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Too much gin, very little bucket
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
