Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
