1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You don't make any sense
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