Buhtt sex?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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