i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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