is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize