this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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