I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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