her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
