i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
