I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
