So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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