I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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