Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
