the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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