i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
