Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.

(1-703): View more from Virginia

You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.

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(234): View more from Ohio

if we break up, who will get the dealer?

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(912): View more from Georgia

Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.

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