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• (254): View more from Texas

  I am coming home for anal

  (254): View more from Texas

  * a nap*

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?

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• (585): View more from New York

  In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...

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• (516): View more from New York

  Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky

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