i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
