oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
