So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize