I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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