her vagine was all disorganized.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
