Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Porn is love you can see.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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