It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
