And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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