Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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