The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
